Our Ernie
from the Brighthelmstone Deacon Issue 10 Dec 1977
One Day Young Ernie Ramsbottom
-to his Mas-son-ic meeting did go,
With his Apron,his gloves and his collar
-and the rest of the regalia we know!
He'd sat for hours with wife Janey -not speaking
With his 'is nose stuck 'ard int' blue book
-learning by 'art all that ritual
-so 'e could recite it wi'out e'an look!
But while Ernie were away at 'is meetin'
-and Janey worked with the ironwhat she used,
There were a sudden !FLASH! and a 'BANG' like
-and the house's electricity fused!.
There were old Janey in't darkness
-and she thought to herself,"Eee this is fine,
-Im in fer a reet lively time."
"Ill give 'im what for when i see 'im"
-she said to herself as she sat
in the dark wi' no telly or wireless,
-and 'er only companion -the CAT !
"hes known that yons cable's been dodgy
when last year i showed that were frayed,
-but wi'learning his Ma-sonic ritual
no repair to't frayed cable's he's made."
the moral of this 'ere off' "appenin"
-does notneed to be sung or refrained,
its simply that 'fore learnin' yer ritual
Yer make sure that wife's kit's well maintained!
It's all very nice at a meetin'
-doin' work like a good brother and friend,
but it's not really of much flippi' value
-if your left wih no wife in the end!
So remember young Ernie RAMSBOTTOM
Next time you pick up yon small book.
Walk into the room where your wife is
-and at her take a l-o-n-g
T-H-O-U-G-H-T-F-U-L LOOK!!
Author Unknown